5 minutes later the seat belt was really digging into my sunburn so I created a modern toga like apparatus and continued on. First stop, the armpit of our nation: Illinois. Illinois has only created one thing I enjoy, and that is my old roommate. And even he is trying to move away. Nothing enforces my feeling more than when I stop for my first toll. She charged me a big rig fair and ended up stealing 50 cents from me. Fuck you Illinois! You are long, boring, and now you steal? To get back at them I didn't flush when I took a dump at a rest stop. So hah! Totally kidding, I could never take a dump at a rest stop....
I got to the camp grounds at my first stop, St. Louis, around 2:45 after about a 6 hour drive. No one was there after the long weekend so I picked a camp spot and set up my tent. I have done two dry runs of this when I lived at home to make sure I didn't embarrass myself. I was a pro! Not this time, tent poles were falling apart, I couldn't get the thing to stand up correctly, I apparently decided the best place for my tent was on top of a giant pile of rocks... It was just all a mess. That turned out to be warning #1.
The plan was to see the park the first day then head into St. Louis the next day. They had a couple of hiking trails and after a delicious Lupper of chili that the coolest of cool friends made for me I decided, the mountain man that I was, that I was going to do the two mile strenuous hike. So at 4:30 I hop on my bike to ride and take off for the two miles to the trail head. I'm flying! My spirits are up, my tummy full, and I am really biking fast. Then it hits me, I haven't pedaled once. This bike to the trail head is entirely down hill.... Suddenly one of the many lessons my dad instilled on me (most of them awkward ("Son, if you get a boner at a pool just jump in")) came rushing back "what goes down must go up." I was already dreading my trip back. But the spirits were still high and I had 2 Liters of water on my back to put me at ease.
I start off on the trail sweating my ass off. This was my second shirt of the day since it was 94 degrees with a heat index of 100. I'm being very aware of stopping and taking pictures. It's one of my main goals on the trip to photo document it, which I am usually very bad at. The trail is beautiful but it is suddenly 5:30 and I am starting to freak out. You don't understand! Give me a tent, a car, and a pudgy pie maker and I got this licked. But lost in a forest?!? Without my head lamp at least? I have forgotten everything I learned! The only thing I remember is “Leaves of three, beware of me,” but I can't eat poison ivy... Quick! Are the mushrooms that grow on tree stumps ok? Could I catch a squirrel with my wit and cunning? Look, I have seen Into the Wild! I don't want to shrink to 65 pounds and die in a hippie truck. Fight or flight: I choose flight. So I just take off running. People. It is 5:45.... the sunset last night was 8:30 and it wasn't completely dark till almost 9:30. Anyone want to guess when I got back to my bike? 5:52. Needless to say I survived that one. Warning #2 that I might not be that cut out for this.
After my bike back I went to buy ice and firewood to do what I look forward to the most on this trip, sitting around a fire, making grilled food, and maybe having a beer or two. Unfortunately the gas station didn't have beer but I could still do the first two.
This camp site is one of the weirder camp sites I have ever been to. Their fire pits are a concrete slab with an iron ring around it. It feels like starting a fire on your driveway. But I went to it. Throwing all 6 months of my boyscout knowledge into the mix I set off to prove myself. Nothing... An hour and a half of fanning the embers I didn't have a single flame. Completely put off I kicked over the logs and decided to load up everything I had pulled out of my car back in. One couple even asked me if I was leaving. So I was sitting there sulking wondering how much the Hilton downtown runs per night when I notice that the kicked over logs had created an oven like situation that was burning really hot. So I rearrange things a bit and.... FLAME ON! I was so excited! I had a raging mini fire. But I was so proud. What was I proud about exactly? Maybe just my dumb luck but I was proud. Had I kicked over the logs perfectly in the right spots as a showing of my intelligent subconcious? I don't know but I was proud, so I'm sharing that with all of you. This is the raging fire I had going after almost two hours.
Not much to brag about but it signified that I could at least live! Granted I had used the entire sunday circulation for the Wall Street Journal to start it but it started! So I sat back and enjoyed it. Now I didn't have mini marshmallows to roast on my mini fire and I was to worried about putting it out to have dinner. But I was content. Until...
I decided it was time for bed and climbed into my tent. Scratch that, my SAUNA of a tent. Now I'm a Fin but even this was unbearable. What could I do? Can you go nudey at a camp ground? Shirt number three was definitely out of the running for wearing it tomorrow. So I laid, and waited, and laid. With the heat and the critters I slept from about 1 to 4 am. At 4 am I popped up like a chipper little squirrel and decided I just needed to get the hell out of there. So while the rest of the campsite slept in their RV's I went and took a shower with my headlamp, my boxers, and my soap. The one positive on the first full day were the showers. My shower had a double shower head! Deluxe! I don't really understand why though. The top shower head came out of the wall at my shoulders which put the other shower head directly in front of my... Yoohoo! It was quite awkward. But that area is at least nice and rinsed off.
At 5 am I had my rain fly on my tent and was driving into St. Louis to take pictures of the Gateway Arch when the sun rose.
Day 1 complete. And all that really happened is I'm a bit tired, a bit hungry, and about 10 pounds lighter from my sauna tent.
Yeah, that sounds about right. Pretty much how I'd expect things to go (and undoubtedly the same as if it was me in your position). Way to persevere though. Perhaps things will become more natural as time goes on.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chili shout out!
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