The Arch and the Brewpub

So there I was. 5:30 in the morning walking around St. Louis. My first stop was the Gateway Arch. I figured if I was going to be up at the butt-crack of dawn I might as well take some pictures. The arch is beautiful. But I have one problem. It's just too damn big. I have a "point and shoot" camera! Don't they understand that I can't get both the top and the bottom of the arch in ANY picture?!?! The pictures end up being just the top of the arch, or just two giant stumps sticking out of the ground! Honestly dude, how tiny is your penis?
This is the best I could do. And even then in this picture I'm laying down on a sidewalk grunting trying to get into a good position. I'm glad no one was there.

This one shows that I was there way too early. No one was around. It was really hard to get a tour!

This is a self picture of myself (redundant redundancy alert) to prove that it was myself and not a paid professional taking these pictures. I know they look professional but I'm on a budget. At the angle I had to hold this at, to take what most 21 year old drunken college girls have perfected, it got me perilously close to the "double chin zone", but I sucked my double chin up and made it out relatively unscathed.

Now under the arch they put a free museum because honestly a lot of people would be pissed if they drove hours to see an arch! The museum was quite dry and depressing. They decided to cover the ever so light topic of how we totally fucked over the Indians. Its pretty awkward to be caught standing there reading a passage about how we massacred hundreds of these folks and you suddenly realize you are subconsciously nodding along. Oops! But my favorite find was this "peace" medal. Every president made one of these and would give them as bribes ermmm.... I mean symbols of the white folks commitment to the relationship with the Indians. I would totally vote for this guy if he ran today.

Chester Arthur must have been a bad ass! Look at those mutton chops!!! I agree that no president could win in today's media storm running for office with facial hair like that. But why not grow them once you get in? Can you imagine if Ex(thank the lord!)-President Bush had grown these? Terrorist's might have actually been scared when he said "Make no mistake, the United States will hunt down and punish those responsible for these cowardly acts." Iran? They'd be I-running away from any conflict with us! (couldn't resist)

After my learning experience I decided I needed to go have a drink or four. So I went into a brewpub in the area and sat down to have lunch and get ready to watch the Germany world cup game. I started Chit-a-lit chatting with the bartender. We were talking beer and their brew operation. I was impressive! I was using phrases and words that made me sound pretty into the process. And for that I need to thank Tom the Rabbit, Beejeble, and Yellow Fever. Hopefully you all know who you are.

Turns out the bartender was actually the head brewer for the brew pub. After spending 4 hours drinking, talking about beer and the city, and watching soccer with him I asked how much I owed. He told me the only thing I owe him is to go see the City Museum. For the first time ever I talked my way out of a bar tab. My family would be so proud! And all I do is have to go learn some more...