Awkward Moments: Mushroom Hunting

We woke up bright and early. Not because we were excited to hunt mushrooms as much as the fact that my tent, which was all the rage in the 70's (where they apparently didn't believe in water proofing shit in the 70's), was soaked. And since I'm a dick and didn't want to be up alone I woke up Paul.... Ooops!

So we headed to the lodge to get our bearings and set off on the hunt. There we ran into the biggest cowboy I have ever met. He was wearing skinny jeans (and not because they were ironically cool but because he had been wearing them since the 60's), a fu man chu and chops that screamed "mess with me... I dare you!", and a leather vest. He was drinking coffee and had a look on his face that said "This coffee is chasing the whiskey I was drinking not three hours ago.

So we said, "Hi!"

Cowboy: "Howdy! (he replied in his best impression of John Wayne.) Where are you folks from?"

Me: "Wisconsin!"

Cowboy: "Oh! Your must hunt and fish all the time!"

Paul: "Actually we haven't done either."

Cowboy: "Well that's just a hangeable offense..." Uhh.... sorry? I hope he knows there are cities in Wisconsin. We don't just shoot shit.

Me: I awkwardly respond, "This place is beautiful!"

Cowboy: "Yep. This is where God spends his summers... Truuuuueee story..."

I instantly wanted to jump on a horse and ride into the sunset. This dude reeked western. But enough of this dude, time to hunt! for mushrooms that is....

This was no easy hunt. The trail was sloppy from rain, we didn't know what we were looking for, and it was 6 god damn 30 in the morning!

But we persevered! We hiked through the slop. We pushed on even though we hadn't had our starbucks fix. It was rough! We had to leap some logs....

We finally found what we were looking for. Check out the haul! For your experience to be closer to ours please play this song in the background while looking at the pictures. This is what we sang for about 3 miles of hiking....

Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...